Is this real life? (Cue electronic keyboard echo effect)

So I've been incredibly rubbish and haven't posted in a month and a half. I blame life. Life always gets in the way- and by life I mean moving back home, having to unpack absolutely everything, working, trying to find a job for October (anyone need an assistant or an administrator?- I'm pretty nifty with a spreadsheet). Real life things instead of theatre life things. I'm still not sure which category my birthday goes into. Yes, I am now 22 and realising that real life is upon me. To celebrate my last few weeks of not having to be a grown up I indulged in my favourite things- cake, Hair and gays. I intended to have a picnic but the rain was torrential and my friends were nowhere to be seen because of said rain and so I invoked the "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" rule until they did turn up and we ate cake. This cake:

This cake went everywhere; College, Hair, Gay bar and back home again

yI made it using a lot of blue food colouring and some awesome food colouring pens. It was very delicious and kept us well fed, although I did have to carry it around London, although I was never questioned what was in the bag. Second was Hair, my third visit, this time in row F as "Hair Whore" had taken all the front row seats (that's a nickname, not a real name, I don't know her real name, I don't want to). Highlights included: Darius Nicholls getting stuck in the audience, Andrew Kober dropping his doobie on the way to the trip and, upon telling him it was my birthday, getting a hug from Gavin Creel. Just in case you wanted to know he smelt minty fresh with a hint of sweat. The final part of the epic birthday extravanganza was my first ever trip to a gay bar, G-A-Y at Heaven to be precise. Here I learnt that the plus side of Gay bars is no groping and lots of cheesey music (in the small room that I liked anyway), the downside is strange stains on the sofas and lots of angry gays when The Saturdays cancel due to illness.


Now I am resigned to the grown up which involves getting up, going to work, coming home from work, eating and looking for jobs. I'm at a bit of a disadvantage having come from a science background and wanting to work in theatre admin. If only there was a way of expressing how much I love the theatre and also how much I know compared to all these Arts graduates. I guess that's what this blog is for, although this entry has contained nothing deep or thoughtful about the arts. Apologies, this is due to the lack of new theatre in my life at the moment. Stotfold is hardly the centre of culture- the nearest we get is the Christian choir and an am-dram group putting on tired murder mysteries. My Dad and I always had a pipe dream of opening an Arts centre here- part book shop, part cafe, part gallery and part performance space. I'd run the theatre company performing classic musicals (for the old dears) in rep with new contemporary musicals, whilst Dad put on open Shakespeare in the Summer. Anyone would be allowed to use the space and we'd make the money through the cafe and bookshop (which would obviously specialise in sheet music, theatre books and train books). Unfortunately we don't have the money and even if we did, the house we wanted to use has been turned into a day nursery. So until I find I job and move back to London I remain Theatre girl in a cultureless world.

Summertime...and you really shouldn't be putting on musicals

The Fantasticks- the long running off-Broadway one, not the non existent British one

So following the announcement of an early end for Hair, we now have the shock closure of The Fantasticks. This is particularly surprising as it holds the title for the longest running off Broadway show. It's starting to get a bit depressing really yet still producers insist on opening shows at the beginning of the Summer. In theory this is a good idea- schools are out, tourists are in and the evenings are lighter and warmer. But in practice it just doesn't work; so much for producers being realists. Last year we saw Spring Awakening and Too Close to the Sun close, this year the pattern of a direct Broadway smash hit and a London production have fallen foul of the curse. Why aren't the theories living up to the reality?


School's out, so what? Unless your show is aimed at young children, this won't help a bit. Few teenagers can afford to go to the theatre without help from their parents. And by their teenage years children don't particularly want to spend the evening with their parents. To get a show to stick with teenagers your PR department need to work damn hard. Spring Awakening didn't seem to have a publicity scheme- a few posters on the underground. Where was the mention of cheap onstage seats? Where were the appearances on T4 and the like? Whilst the show made a lasting impression on Broadway it will remain a long forgotten West End flop with a few loyal fans. A step back in the progression of the West End methinks.

Yes, I've probably used way to many pictures from Hair in this blog. But I like it so tough.

Hair, although having a very active publicity department got its target market completely wrong. For some reason Cameron Mackintosh aimed the show at himself- the middle aged person who like the show the first time round so, yeah, obviously wants to see it loads of times now. Perhaps Cameron was on drugs when he met with the PR company, surely a man who has made his money producing blockbuster shows couldn't make such an elementary mistake? All those I know who are interested in Hair are my age with a small but disposable income. We can afford the (barely mentioned) £25 day seats where you can't see much but have a great time but over £60 for a stalls seat plus more for a premium seat? No chance! Originally even group tickets only took £5 of this top price; because I know so many coach parties that want to see that show. Luckily they realised quite early on and have drastically reduced prices to a more student friendly figure.


Enough with deconstructing marketing plans, what about the theatre scene in the Summer? I've previously mentioned the influx of tourists, swarming around the ticket touts and discount booths. Although tourists are willing to pay extraordinary prices, they'll want to see the show their friends all saw, a well established show that London is famous for. That'll be Les Mis or Phantom, or if you're lucky Wicked. Once your show has become popular with the tourists you can stay open indefinitely. If, however, you attempt to do anything outside the parameters of big spectacles, a heart warming story and a happy ending, tourists will stay away. Unfortunately we on the West End have to separate art from economy meaning that very few "different" shows ever survive. It's sad but its unfortunately reality and just shows how the British treat the theatre.


It's finally got above 12 degrees (centigrade, I'm not actually American) and its May, so theoretically more people will be out and about and wanting to see a show. Wrong. Britain has a strange culture where at the sudden sight of sunshine, we remove most of our clothes and congregate in the nearest park. In the Winter its too cold and in the Summer its too hot, you can never win. In London it doesn't really matter that the evenings are lighter- there are so many street and shop lights it never gets completely dark. Plus most people will travel to the theatre on the underground- you can't even see the sky from there.


So what I'm trying to say is PR companies need to take a step back and look at the environment their show is going into. Is this really the right time for this show? Sure, if something delays opening, they'll be a few people like me who are disappointed but the show may last long enough for me to see it more than once. Win.

Theatre Etiquette

Look its me! And my awesome friend Phil

Or at least I think that's how you spell etiquette; the interwebs doesn't seem to know either. So why is this my topic of the day? Well it may have something to do with that I'm sleep deprived, grumpy and suffering from post show blues. Or it might be to do with what happened on Friday.

The finale of Batboy- my first show

For those very few of you who read my blog but aren't part of my daily life I feel the need to fill you with what's been happening for the last couple of months (and my excuse for not posting regularly!). I've just finished a week of performances in Hair for Imperial MTSoc-it was amazing! I've never felt that sort of intense, trippy atmosphere in any musical I've been in. It was hard work but so worth it especially for me as I planted the seed of doing Hair over a year ago so I feel like things have come full circle not just with doing the show but within my musical theatre life at Imperial. My first show here was Batboy, I was 18, young, didn't really know what I was doing, somehow had a lead and developed an amazing support group around me. And here I was three years later having that same support group watching me out there on my own doing my thing and wanting to make them proud. I hope, no, think I succeeded. I don't usually make a point of making blatant, slushy acknowledgments but I did spend some of Saturday's show thinking how much I've grown as a person and an actor and there are three people who I really do owe a lot of it to (despite seeing them not often enough!).

I finally saw Alex for the first time in years on Saturday. Alex played my Mum in Batboy and we did get close. She was this amazingly glamorous belter with a string of amazing performances behind her. When I got ill during show week she was the one to make sure I was able to continue and look after me in this big scary world of theatre. I haven't seen her much since as she goes onto bigger and better things; now at the Royal Academy of Music. But the moment I saw her in the front row on Hair I just felt I had to make her proud and it was so nice to see her afterwards and just show her how much I've grown as a person.

I still see Seb as my pseudo-father despite his leaving Imperial to do his own environmentally thang. Seb came from the same sort of background as me; hadn't done much theatre before Imperial but had spent much of his time whilst there invested in the society and enjoying both the onstage and offstage fun. Despite going through a rough patch after last year's "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum", Seb has always been the person I turn to for advice or just generally to moan at. He's been through the same sort of things as I have and is kind of like that big brother I never had. Seb and Alex always believed in me and I hope in some way that my performance in Hair showed them that their belief was well worth it.

And finally Dale, my original Gay Best Friend (although I don't think he really likes that title). Dale was my director in Batboy and general instigator of drunken fun (mainly consisting of my mentioning of Jason Robert Brown and him going absolutely crazy). I love Dale to pieces, he's one of those people who even after just seeing them you already miss them. He understands my obsession with theatre and we can share (and angrily debate) all things show-based. I always feel that he generally wants to see me and chat and is genuinely interested in what I have to say.

To all three of you, I love you all and we really should have some sort of self-indulgent Batboy reunion. Rob can come too.

Ok, I wasn't expecting all that gushing to come out just then but it did, and I'm glad. And so back to our topic- theatre etiquette

Alex, Seb and Dale weren't the only people to see Hair this week; after much nagging, members of my lab turned up on Friday. In some ways I wish they hadn't. Most of them were well behaved and really enjoyed the show but a few decided to get wasted beforehand and things got a little messy. Literally. The first I knew of Friday's antics was when the director came up to me at the interval and asked if the group at the back were my friends. I replied that they were probably my lab group and what had they done? I had already heard a overly loud amount of cheering after my song but put this down to them trying to make me feel happier. What I didn't know is they had to be told to be quiet by the director after talking through much of the act and that one of them had vomited over the back row. Nice.

The cast of Hair. Not vomitting.

I was mortified by their behaviour and, although they have apologised, I feel that people need to learn to have a bit of respect for the arts. What you do in a rugby match and what you do at a play are completely different things (although I think if I vomited over your pitch you wouldn't be too happy with me). I spend quite a lot of time on the boards at Broadwayworld.com although I post very little, and the subject of audience behaviour comes up fairly often. The standards of theatre behaviour really have gone down since I say my first show at the age of 5. Then, the theatre was still something exciting, for the elite, for the cultured. Now it is starting to become a tourist trap and little else. Lets take the old school rules of theatre and show you how they should be followed now shall we?

• What to wear.

The incomparable Rob Felstead as Claude. This is the sad bit!

When I was a kid going to theatre meant going with mum to BHS to buy an entire new outfit because I wanted to show to Shane Richie and Sonia how trendy I was. Ok, this was my first show Grease and I seemed to think that the stars of the show would see me. I'm still that way though, unlike the theatre where you go in when it is dark and leave when it is dark you can actually see everyone around you for prolonged periods of time. I still see the theatre as something special and, just like when I got to a nice restaurant, I want to show those working at the theatre that I do appreciate where I am and the theatre isn't just somewhere to go after a few drinks. Fair enough, I'm not going to go in a full out ballgown like our contemporaries in the the earlier half of last century would. But I'm not going to turn up in what is effectively a long t-shirt (I kid you not, a girl wore that exact outfit to The 39 Steps- not even a pair of tights underneath!). If I am to go to the theatre, even on a comp seat, I'll dress to suit the show. For something a bit more contemporary, like Rent Remixed I'd go for a nice denim skirt/shirt combo. If its a grand show in a grand theatre, maybe a cute little dress. But I don't think I've worn jeans to a theatre, it just doesn't seem right. So, fair enough, Hair was a student show and thus what you wear doesn't particularly affect me but I would prefer if you didn't have that 'just out of the lab and I can't be arsed' look about you.

• What to say

Frankly I don't care what you say before the show or during the interval. Although certain things do annoy me like talking about how much you are obsessed with this show and then getting really simple facts about it wrong. Trust me, I probably know more. I also don't appreciate people who won't take me seriously as a critic because I look like a 16 year old- I know a lot more than you think and probably more than your other critics. During the show you really shouldn't speak at all. It's a well known fact. In the olden days people appreciated the theatre as an artform and came to see a play, not sing/speak along with it. I don't mind the odd remark, I'm guilty of that but running commentaries are most definitely out. Especially if you are one of those people listed above. What is especially rude is if you aren't even talking about the show and are instead going about your everyday conversation as if you were in a cafe. The amazing thing is that we can hear everything as we are the well behaved people who keep quiet.

• What you do

Our future choreographer James going slightly mental

This is the big one as it covers many a sin. Firstly mobiles and blackberries. I hate this enough when I'm in the cinema but at the theatre is just taking the piss. Fair enough I can't turn my phone off as it has some sort of strange problem where when I turn it back on it vibrates like mad and won't stop playing Defying Gravity. So I put it on silent and shove it far into my bag. And check it before the show. And check it at the interview. Not for messages but just to make sure its on silent.

Food. Yes I can be a cheapskate and sneak in my own food from time to time but I'll only eat it surreptitiously during the interval. If I'm not feeling to well I may extend this to having a mint to settle my stomach during the show. But why would you feel the need to start eating crisps and sweets during a show? You only have to wait just over an hour until the interval surely you can manage til then? (Unless you're a diabetic where it is perfectly fine and you are probably used to eating very quietly and understand how disruptive it could be)

Drinking. I know that some theatres will let you take your drinks into the auditorium but please don't leave it in the way for us all to trip over. The other peril is that you have to much drink and turn into my lab group. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE THEATRE BEHAVIOUR. Amazingly we have also paid money to see the show and don't want to feel like we're back in the student union. I've seen many shows I don't like and instead of passing them by getting rat-assed I use my time constructively and critique the show in readiness for a post on this dear blog. You wouldn't get so drunk that you couldn't concentrate at a cinema, so why at a theatre when even the people in the story can see you? Especially when you pay so much money to go to the theatre, it's just a waste of a ticket that someone who longs to go but can't afford to could have used.

Yeah, it's me again

I'm not trying to be a killjoy but you wouldn't behave like this in an art gallery or a museum so why do we take such liberties with another artform? It is fine to enjoy the theatre and indulge in what you are seeing but it's when someone who obviously doesn't want to be there decides to ruin it for the rest of use that I get a bit pissed.

Rant over. Oh, and as there aren't many pictures you can use to illustrate theatre etiquette, I've peppered this piece with pics from our production of Hair (because I can) and maybe one from Batboy. Kudos to http://www.elysemarksphotography.com/.

Front Row Seats- What Happened!?

Ethel Merman- who else?

In days gone past, the front row was the place to be- the most expensive tickets, the most exclusive tickets, the ticket that showed that you had power and position in the world. In short theatre seating hierarchy was simple. The closer you were to the front, the higher you were in the hierarchy. I guess this has something to do with not only being closest to the stage (and so supposedly having the best view) but also being closest to the stars of the show (and we are talking some big names, it hasn't just been recently that star names have been required to sell a show- imagine being front row to the opening of a new Ethel Merman show- WOW).

So what has changed? Most front rows are now taken up by loudmouth teenagers with no knowledge of dressing up for the theatre (I even once saw a girl just wearing a t-shirt and not much else). I think this progression is twofold (or maybe three if I can think straight!) and its results also give the appearance of ouroboros; that of a snake biting its tale- or in theatre terms, well we'll get to that later.

Over the years, set designs have become more vast if not more imaginative. During the sixties and seventies we saw some of the most amazing designs such as the set of Grind that completely rotated between scenes to show the inside and outside of a club. A pioneer of outlandish set design was Eugene Lee, one of my favourite set designers if only for the way his sets encumbers all and perfectly set the atmosphere of a play. Among his craziest ideas were a production of Candide in which the Broadway Theatre was broken up into small stages connected by walkways and seats ripped out in favour of wooden benches and stools. This closed pretty soon after opening. His other famous attempt at completely demolishing the Broadway was Dude! by Ragni and Rado (who else?) The stage and seats were separated into different areas such as forest and sky with different areas also representing different price ranges (clever Mr Producer always knows how to get more money out of theatregoers without them realising). The floor was strewn with chicken feathers and soil. Needless to say this closed even quicker than Candide.

But sets did continue to grow, especially through the 1980s when recession meant people wanted more for their money and so wanted huge extravaganzas with sets to match. Into the nineties and to the present day we have looked towards huge automated sets that look pretty, change within the blink of an eyelid, and have the potential to decapitate a poor unsuspecting ensemble member with one blow. So what does this sort of set mean for sight lines, especially for the front row elite?

For the cheap seats, things got better, big sets mean you can see more of it from away and there tend to be larger ensembles hence more to see if you sit far back. For the first class front rowers, things got worse. A large set means more will be played upstage meaning you can't see jack all. The stage will be further above the seats to accommodate all the mcgubbins controlling your swanky automated set and the larger ensemble will mean more feet for you to stare at! Two friends of mine recently found themselves in the front row of Hairspray where the view was so bad they had to move back a few rows just to see any of the show. In short, only foot fetishists and those who like peering into the orchestra pit would ever pay full price for these seats.

I blame Rent, well Rent and John Barrowman- everything's always his fault!

Another reason for the decline in popularity can be traced back to Rent. In an attempt to be hip and "down wiv da kids", and also in an attempt to honour Jonathan Larson, Rent implemented the first lottery ticket system. People would line up at crazy o'clock in the morning to obtain $25 tickets for the front two rows of the theatre. This idea became a phenomenon with Rentheads camping out multiple times a week and even creating their own little universe within these lines. Other shows started taking this idea for themselves until almost all musicals on Broadway had some sort of lottery or student rush. Now London is starting to catch on with Legally Blonde offering cheap front row seats that tend to be full of screaming teenagers, or worse screaming drama students. My point about lottery seats is that now the front row is notorious for being where the desperate fans sit (even if they don't realise they are now possible the worse seats to have). Next to Normal used to have a rush system where the first there would get the first seat and so on. Things got so bad that there was a crazy girl who insisted on having "her seat" every time and would queue up even the night before to ensure this. Wicked had an instance of Kelly Ellis getting so annoyed with the fangirls in the front row that an accidentally left on mic revealed that she wanted to stab the girls with the pins her dresser was holding. Perhaps this is another reason why we don't want to sit in the front row anymore- to escape the grasps of crazy fan girls.

This author would willingly straddle these two, wouldn't you?

And finally to the ouroboros moment- audience interaction. I guess Hair started this back in the 60s, when front seats were still the place to be and hoity-toity types were stunned when a hippy suddenly jumped onto their chair or gave them a flower. As time has carried on, interaction has continued and those who do not wish for a negative interaction have distanced themselves from the front. Blue Man Group tend to sell of their front seats cheap and I think they also provide disclaimers as many of their stunts can "leak" out to the front row. In Denzel Washington's Julius Caesar, the production was so bloody that the front row were provided with pacamacs to protect themselves from flying blood. As negative effects like this increase, the value of front row seats decrease (unless you're in for a cheap thrill).

But we have now come full circle. The new production of Hair has brought back the thrill of being in the front row. People are now willing to pay as much money as they can to have Will Swenson sit on their lap or Gavin Creel molest them. (I would.)

I lied, here's a very short but important blog...

I want to see this:


Now

End of.


So if someone wants to pay for me to get to New York to see it I'd be greatly obliged and you would probably make my life complete. I may even buy you a cookie.

You may have noticed a theme of the author using this space to show pictures of guys she fancies, today is no exception.

I'm bored, its time for another Musical Theatre (not so) Weekly! I've also realised that this format is almost the same as Seth Rudetsky's chapters on musicals to see from The Q Guide to Broadway. I think we must both be psychic as I only got that book last week and these were written about a year ago.

This time, Hair, which has recently been revived at the Al Hirshfield and I would kill for a plane fare and ticket to see it. The review was written last year so pre-Jonathan Groff/Gavin Creel but post-Actors Fund. But as there haven't been many Creel-Claude photos yet, I've selected a few of the very pretty Jonathan Groff Esquire.

History
Yay, I did my A Level history project on this time period so I can tell you all about it!
The Vietnam War ran from 1959 to 1975, between America (supporting South Vietnam) and North Vietnam- the Democratic Republic of Vietnam. This war was one of the first that everyday Americans actually believed was avoidable; this image was not helped by extensive television coverage on the subject. To get enough troops to sustain the war the government had to introduce conscription, whereby every young man could be forced to join the army, navy or air force unless they could provide a good reason why not. Most of those trying to escape the “draft” went to Canada or claimed they were homosexuals. Many draft-dodgers were hippies- a counter culture that evolved out of the Beatniks- think Allen Ginsberg the poet and Hunter S Thompson the writer portrayed by Johnny Depp in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. The Hippies believed in free love, non-violence and generally hanging around taking drugs.
Hair was conceived by two such hippies- James Rado and Gerry Ragni who also happened to be actors. It took a while for Hair to get up and running generally due to most producers being old and stuffy and not liking new things (theatres at the time were still enjoying very traditional shows like Oliver! and Fiddler on the Roof. When Hair did get to the stage, it quickly became very popular as it was a show that younger people would want to see and take their parents to say “look Mom and Pop, here’s what I’m doing with my life and why”. Hair came to London featuring famous faces like Richard O Brien (Bald guy from Crystal Maze and writer of The Rocky Horror Show), Tim Curry (Star of The Rocky Horror Show and the bad guy in most films since Home Alone 2) and Floella Benjamin( I know I was surprised too, I still find her really scary though). The last production of Hair in London was in 1993 and featured none other than John Barrowman (yes, Captain Jack from Torchwood!!)


Plot
The plot of the film is totally different to that of the show; the show is more a collection of songs about being a hippy, getting chucked out of school, getting high and then going to war. So I’m going to focus more on the plot of the film as it’s a bit more structured and you’re more likely to see it than the show.
The film of Hair focuses on Claude, a “good middle class young man” from a rather conservative background who is supposed to be on his way to conscript into the US Army at the time of the Vietnam War. He is befriended by a group of hippies in Central Park and, not for the last time in the film, smoke some pot. The next morning they go chasing after Sheila, a posh girl that Claude fancies and end up crashing her parents dinner and ending up in prison. As everyone does when in jail, they sing a big production number about how their hair is so great and enables them to get out of prison. They go take some more drugs, this time it’s LSD and so they go around Central Park hallucinating for a bit until it’s the hippies realise Claude has to go to Boot Camp the next day.
Claude reluctantly goes to Boot Camp and his friends follow him to say a final goodbye before he goes to war. Unfortunately this doesn’t really go to plan, I won’t say how as that would ruin the story but it is really sad and provides one of the most atmospheric moments of the show and really brings the message home.

Main Characters:Claude: The all-American conservative ready to join the army, he fancies Sheila
Berger: The “free spirit of the group”, he also fancies Sheila (are there any musicals that don’t contain love triangles?)
Sheila: The “pretty one” who also happens to be rather rich
Hud, Woof, Jeanie, Crissy, Dionne: Various hippy friends of Sheila and Berger


Songs to look out for:
Flesh Failures (Let the Sunshine In): Without ruining the plot, this is a really tragic song with so much emotion (but you have to watch it with someone singing it, listening to the soundtrack means nothing)
Going Down-Not the greatest melody, but the YouTube clip I found had Gavin Creel just wearing his trousers and a bunch of ties (oh the irony)…
I Got Life-Yes the song from the Muller adverts and yes, I checked it is the same song. Isn’t it funk-ay?

Where can I can get it?The DVD’s still hanging around, although don’t watch it when you’re ill, I did that and it felt like I was on a 2 hour trip.
If not, there are usually clips of some sort on YouTube.

Sad face :(

If you liked this, try:Rent-Same Bohemian ideals just brought up to the 1980s instead.
Miss Saigon- If Hair is the musical about not going to war, Miss Saigon is the flipside of what happened to those who did fight in the Vietnam War. There’s a copy of the original cast recordings of both these musicals in the library which I now expect to be completely unobtainable because all you lovely people have got them out.